Year 2010!

063. Forever is over.

2010-07-22T23:09:00.001+08:00

Potassiumwxyz @ Twitter/Livejournal

062. The Love.

2010-07-16T23:28:00.001+08:00

061. childishdelights;you'll always be my favourite.

2010-07-07T13:38:00.003+08:00

so i'm kind of like, done here.

i'm more of tumblring right now.

so, i'm moving over and yeap, you'll see me there. :)

oh, twitter too :)

and,

july intake, wait for me.

4 freaking years,

you watch me.

60. for a moment in time.

2010-06-29T20:39:00.004+08:00

im fighting my mind, and eyes,

refusing to shut down. so i'll just blog as fast as i can,

and hope that things i typed now make sense.

SIWF came to an end, a huge relief for me.

everything is over, now the paper work.

swear i hate summaries and overviews.

granted 1 and a 1/2 day off and just when i was thinking of when to take the leave, and enjoy myself, i fell sick.

2 days mcs. i guess that could just cover up the off days.

great time over at mama house today. Ian still is as cute as ever.

as for Rae, just kept crying. :( dont know whats wrong. her eyes are so puffy.

went to lot 1 before heading home with pillow.

pillow says he never eat famous amos cookie before!?

im gna get him a pack! it tempted me alil too. :(

sucks to have cravings when you're sick.

this could be my last post here.

im either moving or i'll stop blogging.

i'll still be at tumblr. :)

everybody moves on right?

so till then guys!

Childishdelights;

6 years, you've been a great 'friend' of mine. probably a great listener and a punching bag to rant on. through good and bad times, you shared joy and sorrows of mine. words are my best friend, and without this page, the words i have in mind wouldnt appear, so thankyou much.

You hold so much of my memories, so much so much.

I'll still keep writting, a little bit here, a little bit there.

i'll keep writting... :)

059. Adeline's 21st birthday.

2010-06-22T00:00:00.000+08:00

Beloved one and only;

058. Chris Daughtry - Sepetember

2010-06-21T16:16:00.000+08:00

How the time passed away? All the trouble that we gave
And all those days we spent out by the lake
Has it all gone to waste? All the promises we made
One by one they vanish just the same

Of all the things I still remember
Summer's never looked the same
The years go by and time just seems to fly by
But the memories remain

In the middle of September we'd still play out in the rain
Nothing to lose but everything to gain
Reflecting now on how things could've been
It was worth it in the end

Now it all seems so clear, there's nothing left to fear
So we made our way by finding what was real
Now the days are so long that summer's moving on
We reach for something that's already gone

We knew we had to leave this town
But we never knew when and we never knew how
We would end up here the way we are
Yeah we knew we had to leave this town
But we never knew when and we never knew how

tell me about it, im breaking within.

057. ohaiyo!

2010-06-20T00:17:00.000+08:00

alright people, time for some updates? heh.

Life at SP has been pretty good and enjoyable so far.

its been a month there.

people are good, all is good.

busy much, after SIWF, i'll definitely feel a sense of achivement. :D

have been living without the mp3 for prob a week going two?

firstly - due to the songs in it.

secondly - earpiece is working only on the right.

thirdly - mp3 is faulty.

haha, new playlist please but first of all, send it to creative.

songs like,

qing ge, ni bu hui, wo zhi dao and fei ni mo shu is currently on repeat in the office everyday. i think Elly is quite sick of it. but because its on repeat, somehow, i know the lyrics by heart already. haha.

did i mention on 20th of may i met up with Bryan. recently i caught up with Joey. :)

hahaha, i swear they're still as chatty as ever and Bryan, you really, need to stop growing. :(

haha, chill out together soon instead of individually yoo!

positive mindset throughout and seen improvements in training too. especially for long distance. last sun and training earlier in the day was awesome. 7 and 9 big rounds respectively and my focus was there and i didnt even think about giving up, chui, or wanting to stop and just leisure paddle. haha, not bad not bad.

except for the coughing. aye, bad bad bad.

clearing much of storerooms i think. the dust is horrible.

BUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!

heh heh, lost weight yo.

im at the weight i previously was back in secondary school.

how awesome.

oh oh, harddisk has been revived too.

and, what else what else.. hmm..

ok i think nothing much.

well prepared for the busy week ahead.

so, update someday soon again!

and, great movie just now. :D

i didnt know Jaden Smith was Will Smith's son until pillow told me.

heh heh. okkkk~

056. amazing not.

2010-06-14T13:20:00.000+08:00

aye,

why must this always happen.

so, the truth hurts.

it caved in. and what more and so on and so on.

just didnt expect it to be this way.

thought you were different. :/

"i think you thought who confirm"

make sense..

ok lah, all is over.

good to know,

good to go.

keep going, keep going.

stronger than i've ever imagined myself to be.

so amazed.

the capability to endure this long.

viviphang, jiayou! :)

055. Amazing.

2010-06-10T20:38:00.000+08:00

You're like a storm against the window
Follow me around just like a shadow
I'll swim a never ending ocean
Until you bring back your devotion

It's like I live a thousand lifetimes
Still looking for the one that feels right
See, moving on just isn't working
You lit the fire that I'm burning

And all I've been doing is protecting
A lie for the sake of my pride
While all the others set me thinking
We could be more than just amazing

I guess I'm holding on to my faith
A solid hope I'm heading your way
And crawling over is so tempting
We could be more than just amazing

I couldn't see it
I must have believed a lie
If I admit it would you let me make it right
Is it all gone
Oh no

We could be more than just
We could be more than just amazing

And all I've been doing is protecting
A lie for the sake of my pride
While all the others set me thinking
Straight to the point of what I'm feeling
Oh we could be more than just amazing

54. nts:

2010-06-09T21:43:00.000+08:00

keep going.

053. bruised.

2010-06-06T21:53:00.000+08:00

idk how all this blueblacks end up on me. :/

and i realised i've been bitting and somewhat chewing on my knuckles. :/

eek.

very ugly colours.

dad & mum & bro left.

popo has been crying like. idk.

i give up man...

uncle is hopeless.

tell me if it makes a difference.

if it doesnt..

then...

052. hell.

2010-05-31T20:23:00.000+08:00

the older you get, when you get sick,

it gets worse.

hen xin ku...

started crying when xh and mummy came home. :(

felt so bad....

damn xin ku..

damn painful...

fever killing..

headache killing..

:'(

mummy's damn nice,

go out buy things for me...

know i cant eat much,

bought cereal and some beehoon maggie for me..

oh, ling yang too. :/

I'm going to mama's house tomorrow.

she called in the morning just now,

:'(

mummy says go mama house got better food...

i wna get well now...

nowwww.

nowwww.... :(

051. Downfall.

2010-05-28T19:59:00.001+08:00

I dont know if its just not my time of the year or what.

The harddisk have to crash at this period of time.

& i had to withdraw from NCC...

I swear it wasnt easy to pick myself up after last october.

I dont think i'm feeling like, ahhhh, damn wasted.

not about sad and angry.

but disappointed and more of relieved.

Shall skip the disappointed part.

I dont know if throughout the years being a sportsman have taught me to be sensible, the modules i've taken in DSES or the constant naggings from my family.

no matter what, i guess i should be glad that i'm responsible of my own being,

and i didnt want to risk anything so i headed for the doctor.

What if i took the risk, and went straight ahead for NCC.

What if, i didnt even manage to even compete and the muscle just tear during warm up.

What if things got worse and i had to be admitted to the hospital.

These thoughts drive me crazy.

I hesitated long enough to visit the doctor.

should have done it during monday so maybe i'd be able to recover.

all the way till thursday, i think the pain gave way.

and i knew it was serious matter and i cant endure it another day.

Even if this was one of the last few race this year,

be it..

I guess its better to give up NCC than give up exercising for the rest of my life..

Back to square 1,

pick it all up again.

& im sure, this time, it'd be easier..

All the best to RPC tomorrow,

best shot, remember.

50. JATDOBY.

2010-05-23T21:09:00.000+08:00

i'm really gna miss you.....

49. 8 baked beef balls!

2010-05-18T22:07:00.000+08:00

Hello world, I'm currently using my bb to blog because my laptop chose such a right timing to die. It was still running fine in SP just now but I shut it down, and on it 2 hours later and the operating system couldn't work anymore. Freaking sad. I have a lot of things to say somemore lorhh... Tmd, chao zai~

Mummy's damn silly. How could I just do such a thing when you guys love me so much? :) Xiuhui bought me a top and a pretty wallet caught my eyeeeessss. Mummy say she'll sponser! Heh. This gives me no reason to _ lahhhhhhhhhh. Anw, I can't bear to and seriously, I'm coward but that's not the point. Am chao zai sensible ok!!

Xiuhui and Wilson hor, CHAO ZAI \m/!!

I drank koi just now. Teeheehee.

48. one better.

2010-05-17T21:25:00.000+08:00

hello world.

first day of attachment was cool + awesome - the boring period.

Marina barrage is very very pretty still. :)

Now i cant wait for 26th & 27th June. :):)

I went for a swim at Warren.

Seeing the kids take their swimming test reminds me of the times i took mine.

Looking at those anxious parents makes me think that they're over reacting.

Mummy used to sit far up away, while i was taking my test.

The parents were taking photos and standing right by the pool side to catch the pyjamas that were thrown up on land by their daughters/sons.

I miss swimming competitively last time.

I miss my swimming coach.

Last Monday, i watched a netball match for A division.

I miss playing netball.

I miss my netball coach.

After swimming, i headed to the golf range to find Daddy.

Seems like Daddy really wants me to play golf together with him.

Not impossible. Something i can consider after Year 3.

I made Wilson upset yesterday. :(

I'm so sorry.

I love you very much still.

I'll watch what i say for now.

Show Luo's concert this weekend.

NCC next weekend.

And, note to self: when are you going to BBDC?

I'll be one better.

47. ALOHA SINGAPORE!

2010-05-14T13:26:00.000+08:00

HI!

short update!

attachement starting next week!

NEXT!

UNIVERSAL STUDIO WAS GOOD!

Manage to catch all the rides and the shows.

Shows were all awesome! *two thumbs up*

The ride at Egypt was, WOW!

4D motion ride at Far Far Away Land was, not bad too.

Im waiting for the Battlestar Galactica to be done before i'll visit universal studio againnn.

yes, the blue and red track. cant wait cant wait.

New york and Hollywood was pretty. :)

the ride at The Lost World was, lollll, memorable. hahahahahahaa.

pictures up!

i had tons of fun you bet. :)

:):) happy girl now. :):)

46. -

2010-05-02T15:28:00.000+08:00

i happen to come across,

194.5.

would you fall to pieces,

if i never came back?

45. 我不行了.

2010-04-27T16:14:00.000+08:00

you given me two 10 cents, for two different reasons.

you remember?

i kept them still. you know?

"the next time, we're gonna flip a coin and take the results seriously.."

big thanks to,

everyone who was with me, through this.

i really dont know what else to say, but thankyou so much.

thankyou..

*raise white flag*

44. you're the thunder, & i am the lightning.

2010-04-25T18:35:00.000+08:00

big thanks to Adeline for the greatest encouragement and motivation today.

its been long since i felt so good.

though filled with pressure and it was really mind taxing,

i managed to overcome the pain, push myself to the limit, break those thoughts and felt a sense of achivement after crossing the buoy after the 8th set.

more of this feeling & i'll be ready soon. :)

cos' you're hot & you're cold.

43. I miss,

2010-04-25T17:47:00.000+08:00

breathing in your exhale.

42. :D

2010-04-24T20:56:00.001+08:00

Lardee & ickle makes me very very happy!

41. you said,

2010-04-24T17:39:00.000+08:00

"at least after army"

40. 天亮了.

2010-04-23T17:33:00.000+08:00

说也奇怪

这些年来

不明白

我如何

忍受过来

一场期待

一片空白

人的心

就是这样狠起来

我们的恋爱

如果不失败我们怎么会有

这么成功的分开

never mind, you just go away

你以为我一定后悔

已经有了最坏的准备

走了这步就举手不悔

never mind, you just go away

你以为我就会流泪

我会不会

你配不配

勉强相爱

就像骨牌

守不住

倒不如

倒的精采

lt's okay, l'm okay

我不用你陪

你不要误会

我只是有点累

却没时间崩溃

never mind, you just go away
你以为我就会流泪

如果我不会

你会不会

more at forsakenhighway.

39. -

2010-04-22T17:21:00.001+08:00

Goodbye.

38. Can you hear me?

2010-04-15T12:43:00.000+08:00

Today is a winding road;

Thats taking me to places that I didnt want to go.

37. -

2010-04-14T02:04:00.000+08:00

FSK.HW

I'm there.

36. Recent updates.

2010-04-02T00:56:00.001+08:00

I've become very, forgetful lately.

its bad, really.

I can speak, and the next minute, i forgot what i've just said.

tsk, aging.

and this blog post,

is actually redundant.

this blog post is more of like for those people, who happily say, they found my blog link,

and then, keep saying, why i never blog.

nah, for you all.

be honoured leh.

a short break in 3 more days. how awesome.

YAY BYE!

jump then head first, fearless.

jiayou, keep the mentality there, dont let this motivation go running low.

35. Daddy's cute.

2010-03-24T09:17:00.000+08:00

I smsed my dad this morning to tell him about my grades.

His reply.

Daddy: Seems like something missing...

Kelroy: ?

Daddy: Too rounded, where are the A's?

Kelroy: HAHAHA. Its for Attachment. AAAAAttachment.

Daddy: No A means no Allowance. AAAAAllowance.

Totally don't know wna laugh or be sad at his reply.

Im meeting Adeline Oon. AAAAAdeline.

BYE!

34. Xiaojun's 20th!

2010-03-16T01:33:00.000+08:00

33. -

2010-03-08T00:37:00.000+08:00

12.39am.

8th march 2010.

32. far away for far too long.

2010-03-05T21:35:00.001+08:00

A short getaway.

Had my fun.

Time to get back to where i stopped.

Where i stopped; Last october.

MR 500.

I.WANT.IT

031. Back to square one.

2010-02-25T22:49:00.000+08:00

30. Happy C.New Year + Valentine's!

2010-02-14T10:47:00.000+08:00

Heh, the first day of chinese new year is the most happening.

especially at 9am! :)

Take a look here:

http://childishdelights2009.blogspot.com/2009/01/026-happy-chinese-new-year.html

So as i said, see them this year's Valentines! SO HERE GOES!!

HEEEE!!!!

So i won the bet with Wilson!

This year's lion is red!

He was saying it was orange!

i said cause Valentine's so its either red or pink!

YES I WIN!

HEHEHEHEHE!

MORE PHOTOS UP AT FACEBOOK!

I UPLOAD TONS OF PHOTOS!

More visitings later. :)

Ah, mama houseeee!

Happy Valentine's Day, Joachim!

Come back soon!

29. Moving on.

2010-02-12T22:53:00.000+08:00

Finally, its over..

The first day of Semester 2, i took the train to school with the same faces.

Today, as the last day of Semester 2, i took the train back west with the same faces.

I started off, and ended off,

still, with familiar faces, and i'm glad/relieved/happy.

my daily grades for module 15 was, A A A AWESOME.

hahaha, except for physiology, it was. like. X. :/

i'm praying hard not to retake physiology or prescription omg, please nooooo.....

UTs are finally, like finally, finally overrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr........

I think i'm so used to not signing into MSN once my laptop's done loading.

Its like, ok Documents - RP - (Module) - 6P - loads up all the related 6p and starts reading.

MADNESSSSS!

AHAHAHA,

suddenly dont feel like surfing the net is meeee.

So WELCOME HOLIDAYSSSSS!

and, of course, ahem, the. training schedules..

and.. hell.

Theres nothing much to look forward to this chinese new year.

no much new clothes, nothing much just a few kgs gained. :/

It'll be the same old thing and, hmm, we'll see how it goes?

like, i cant wait for everything to be over.

head back for training and work.

Watched Valentine's Day today.

A great movie, something so nice, so amazing that i could relate to.

:).

might wna watch it again. :)

Alright, we'll see how busy this whole CNY thing can get.

will blog more often i hope?

Bon Voyage, Joachim. :)

28. Joamugglezx.

2010-02-06T06:25:00.001+08:00

Thanks for being so patient.

Another A coming up for your Nutrition UT?

You jiayou. :)

Time check: 6:29am.

Ok, i think i'm ready for the UT.

ok wait, ALMOST.

ok wait, maybe not.

urm. i think im ready.

I think.

Why am i feeling so... scared.

ok time to bathe.

im wide awakeeeeee.

please dont fail me.

i want to pass thisssss.

27. Oh Nutrition, Oh Nutrition~

2010-02-05T20:22:00.000+08:00

great.
awesome.
School is finally overrr.
ohhhh
myyy.
goshhhhh.

Next up.
UTssssss.

I have one tomorrow.
8.30am.
Nutrition.

I'm facing one whole chunk of words.
But i'm here blogging because i wanna thank Minghee for the notes.
powerpack!
Ok. i'm off to bathe.
wo hen, iglish ticktchy.

26. Told you so.

2010-02-04T13:00:00.000+08:00

I really like pushing people away.

to see who will come back, and stay right with me.

This pain is kind of killing me.

"no wonder nobody likes you.."

maybe you're right.

i dont need anyone to like me.

again, i lose all the motivation i had back 2 days ago.

im back at square 1.

i wna give up.

i wna let it all go.

i want to push everyone/everything away.

i want to be alone.

i dont need anyone to pity me, understand me when they dont know any shit about me.

get it?

im 19.

im still in my own world.

and i just talked to my dad about death.

DNR.

the tears still surprised me.

its never ending.

25. I feel good.

2010-02-01T22:57:00.000+08:00

yay!

i think i miss this feeling so much.

im getting so excited for the upcoming ones.

but halt, only one part that benefits know.

the swimming. :)

feels good to be, embracing the water all over again.

i miss swimming. recalled how much i love swimming back then.

i dont mind swimming 3 hours straight knowwwwwww.

:):) big mega thanks to Catherine today.

think she almost died, and shes gonna turn in very early today.

hope you sleep well.

hehe.

MYOB, yo!

quit trying to step over one's head.

what? they suppose to report to you?

heh?

wheeeeeeeeee.

feels good to be back doing cardioo.

ah, this week seems so. rushing and packed.

and how to study for ut. =(

ok very very very tired noww.

swimming does wear one out.

oh, pay is coming in. am deciding to save up, till i topped up the used amount of money, or spend it on a new swimsuit and goggles.

mmm...

goodnighttt.

24. Hope!

2010-02-01T10:20:00.000+08:00

"nobody wants you to leave. i dont want you to go."

"endure."

"determination."

I'm still unsure about this, but i'm gna try.

Now i know what i want, from here, im walking towards it.

Swimming starts from today.

Wna take this opportunity to thank

Adeline,

Angeline,

Catherine,

Xiaojun.

Thanks for never giving up on me, despite me being so angsty all the time.

i realise i've been angry with myself/everybody for a long period of time.

its time to stop.

I'm sorry for the constant venting and all.

Thankyou for offering to take turns and swim with me.

Being angry for being injured isnt worth it.

i'm gna start from where i fell.

time to get up and,

Go.

Thanks for wiping all the tears i've shed.

Thanks for never asking why, but just you being there when i try to push everyone away.

Thankyou, Joachim. <3

23. Injured Athletes.

2010-01-28T14:28:00.000+08:00

SPORT INJURY — HEALING THE MIND AND BODY
by Nancy Rebel, SIRC

Dealing with the physical side of injury is only half the battle.

We can not forget to address the importance of healing the mind of the injured athlete.

Many things can influence the way a person feels about
their injury such as: the severity of the injury, previous
injuries, their position on a team, their family and friends,
and the type of sport they play. Girls often experience
greater injury anxiety than boys.

All of these factors
combine together to leave the athlete dealing not only with
the injury but a whole host of fears and insecurities.
A player may experience fear about feeling left-out of team
activities. They may feel that they are letting themselves
and their teammates down. Some may feel that they will
lose their place on the team with prolonged absence.

Many may have a fear regarding their ability to return to their
pre-injury skill level or re-injuring themselves. Some athletes
have trouble with their self-esteem and self-worth,
wondering who they are if they can not be the athlete
they are used to being.

more at: http://www.sirc.ca/newsletters/mid-july08/documents/InjuryPsychology.pdf

feeling me?

22. hehehe.

2010-01-27T15:21:00.000+08:00

me: bi, why do dwarfs always laugh when they play soccer!!!!

Joachim: erm

Joachim: duno

Joachim: lol

me: because the grass tickles their balls.

Joachim: hahahahha
Joachim: SHIT
Joachim: NO WONDER I ALWAYS LAUGH

lolll. ^^

21. Jatdoby,

2010-01-27T11:39:00.000+08:00

I'm sorry...

20. You're right.

2010-01-27T11:06:00.000+08:00

cause i'm about to throw almost everything/everybody else out of my life.

" fate determines who comes into your life,

& heart determines who stays. "

Those whom my heart recognize, stays.

the others, go away.

19. Nineteen.

2010-01-26T22:39:00.000+08:00

yup, the last "1".

I'm nineteen, no doubt.

thanks for all the advanced celebrations.

I really enjoyed myself throughout.

Dinner with family was great too.

As you grow, maybe you wouldnt look forward much anymore.

though i know i should expect so much or so,

i still look forward to 25th jan.

its like, ahh, nice. :)

I chose to remain offline yesterday because i wanted to see who remembered.

i would take the smses, and the face to face as sincere wishes.

facebook comes as the last option but still, thankyou everybody. :)

well, the whole of yesterday was damn awesome.

big thankyou to Joachim who tried to make it big and grand.

thankyou for the, happy meal delivery, special hotcakes.

then to spreading that its my birthday to everyone.

after which, coming into class with a cake with the whole of E44a singing. :)

thankyou so much.

Not forgetting my classmates of course. :)

Joyce & Cheryl. :)

and lastly, Angeline, Catherine & Xiaojun!

yes, the canoeist, not all but yup.

those who sang sincerely, in the gym. :)

and junior guys who started singing till the whole of Megafoodmall was filled with their voice.

Audrey, who felt like shit when she woke up late,

not being able to "smash" the cake in my face.

haha.

Papa & Mama. :)

A red packet. hee.

THIS IS A MUST MENTION!

Enna! :)

i swear i love you. :)

Last but not least,

Xiuhui. :D.

A present that comes with special meaning.

i lost my 18th birthday present in LSR,

but i promise i'll treasure this.

I'm gonna get Mummy to wrap it up nicely. :)

so 25th jan came, and left.

so...

i'm 19.

time to face the world once again.

Now,

let me look forward to 31st jan for 2 things. and....

lets welcome Febuary. :)

18. Still hoping,

2010-01-24T10:34:00.000+08:00

that 2010 is a great year pleaseee......

When i was so sure of rejecting iip in semester two.

hehh...

Posting results quite weird.

but oh well. :) hope things goes well.

Next up!

Celebration at Timbre!

Thanks for everything, Zhaoyueeee & Cheryl. :)

Everything was great! :D

To the little red dress, to the surprise then the two undies and the ahem, shirt.

hehehehehe.

look how much we've changed kaeee!

From

TOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

Tadaaaa!!!!!!!!!

Together with Hongshan & Joachim, thanks for the great evening. :)

Joachim brought me out ytdddddd. :)

i will scan all the polaroids when im really free okkkk.

like, seriously, im damn busy?

I realise i've been waking up really early and never passing like. 8am.

finally get to sleep till 10am today, thought i woke up at 7am like automatically. :/

ahhhhhh, another long week to go.

kbyeee!

17. Because,

2010-01-22T01:01:00.000+08:00

i want to be left alone tonight.

dont bother asking why.

this is way too hard and tough to handle.

one more reason to add on that,

i shouldnt be here.

16. Its been a long week.

2010-01-21T23:52:00.000+08:00

mentally drained...

15. zzzomgosh.

2010-01-19T22:15:00.000+08:00

i guess i've never been so scared.

this is the worst situation i've ever handled and i must say i done a bad job.

sucks.

sucks that i didnt calm down and i panic and i didnt know what to do and my mind wasnt thinking right.

fuck that the whole incident is making me traumatised over and over again.

and its troubling me so badly.

cause it keeps appearing in my mind.

jiu ming ahhhhhh............

14. Segregation.

2010-01-19T10:14:00.000+08:00

with this continuing,

i believe i'm gonna die in my own hands.

13. =(

2010-01-18T22:23:00.000+08:00

dont like to be here.
dont assume without hearing my explanation.
sigh.

nobody understands?
fuck it.

12. I dont want.

2010-01-15T12:18:00.001+08:00

The last time it happened was back in sec 2, 14 years old, year end.

I dont want it to repeat.

but why.

how do i put everything into words and convey out my thoughts.

harder than i thought.

i dont want.

but i cant even help myself anymore.

11. Give me a reason.

2010-01-15T10:45:00.000+08:00

The truth is eating me up real slowly.

how do i, express how i'm feeling right now.

run away?

10. The more;

2010-01-10T23:43:00.000+08:00

the more i see it, the more i get retardedly upset.

the more i think about it, the more i get mad.

the more you "try", the more i despise.

the more of hanging around, the more of wanting to yield to temptations.

work was fine.

its always when its after work.

Now that my phone is being confiscated during work.

theres no way anyone can contact me or so till i punch out.

theres never peace.

never.

so i have to repeat this for the _ times tonight.

FUCK MY LIFE.

because theres too many things clashing together and its impossible to tear myself into parts.

UTs. Training. Work. UT revisions.

Im desperately looking for replacement on Wednesday.

7pm - 11pm.

please please please?

09. dead & gone.

2010-01-10T09:19:00.000+08:00

exhausted.

training yesterday followed by 3 hours straight of shopping?

i think i almost died.

drained out..

very burnt too.

work later at 2pm..

bah..

bye~

08. Dear Joachim,

2010-01-09T20:40:00.000+08:00

Thank you. :)

07. Because..

2010-01-07T10:27:00.000+08:00

you no longer bother.

so why should you be in my life?

i dont need anyone to feel sorry for me.

So dont worry, even if the sky is falling down

Down, Down

Gonna be okay, when it knocks you down, down, down

So baby dont worry, its alright, a-alright

When it knocks you down

When you go down, when you go down, down

No need to worry, just get back up

When you are tumbling down, down, down

Oh, Ive been travelling on this road too long (too long)

Just trying to find my way back home (back home)

The old me is dead and gone, dead and gone

06. Never enough for you.

2010-01-06T23:22:00.000+08:00

I'm really.

really.

sick of this.

like. have never felt so.

aimless.

like, everything i do.

is just so meaningless.

pointless.

whatever-less.

just.

let it go.

cause i think i came to the point that i feel that.

theres nothing to be angry and upset for anymore.

it isnt the first time people commenting about my size and weight.

and. its true that i'm this way.

so. be it sinking or whatever shit, i cant be bothered?

plus, the knee isnt helping.

i doubt anyone knows how i feel.

yes i'm training. but so what.

the pass few training seems like going through motion.

i cant run, i cant this, i cant that.

fuck.

happily seeing the weight increase on the scale.

despite controlling what i eat and all.

not only this, so many things have happened since the start of 2010.

im so sick and tired of all this.

so sick and tired of school.

of physiology.

of this.

of that.

of living up to peoples expectation.

of knowing how much people are disappointed in me.

of disappointing others just because they dont understand.

make sense?

ok. hmm.

I'm not emo-ing ok.

its just.

life's like that.

so.

ok.

i give up.

if you dont get it.

then.

ok.

sorry.

cause.

d.p.d.p.

on a lighter note,

though it was still quite frustrating,

i started using Samsung Corby in Pink.

quite irritating cause a little retarded.

but.

hmm.

I think i like Joachim's HTC tattoo sensitivity.

and oh yeah.

i looked up Monash University's website and i cant wait to fly over and take,

Nutrition and Dietetics.

hee.

okbye.~

05. Still disorganised.

2010-01-05T22:06:00.000+08:00

I'm so sad.
I'm not trying to be picky or what.
I just need something like my 2009 organiser.
I cant find.

I tried to use this particular one.
ended up, it looks so messy.
& i cant stand it..
bahhh.
I'm hungry.
I'm feeding on yoghurt. :/
I'm tired.

Theres work tomorrow.
bah..
ok.
I NEED A SUITABLE ORGANISER FOR MEEEE. T.T
i think i can just die.
booo....

04. Favourite month of the year.

2010-01-05T15:39:00.000+08:00

I love January.

but its gonna pass so quickly.

i need an organiser or daily planner.

way too much things going on.

Training, work, UT, prescription project.

omgggggg.

everything is clashing.

i need to get it asap.

Prints sells ugly organisers. sucks.

Dont pass too soon january.. =(

03. Tears.

2010-01-04T23:28:00.000+08:00

i want to know.

how much tears can one shed in a day.

cause after a long day,

"wow, i still have tears?"

02. Ice.

2010-01-04T22:45:00.000+08:00

Its hard to pretend i'm ok.

the thought of it is able to make me tear.

i dont know whats happening now.

I'm losing my motivation.

i'm losing everything that, i'm not suppose to give up on.

Wo jing tian.. ku le hen duo..

wo hen lei...

Not much of detailed post here for this period of time.

i'm somewhere there.

see you.

01. I know its late but,

2010-01-04T15:28:00.001+08:00

Wishing all, a great 2010. :)

As claimed by me,
This blog wont be closed for long.
I still need this space for breathing.

Its either here or there.
if you know me well enough, you know i'll stick with childishdelights no matter what.
So here i go..
Welcome to my life, 2010.

PS; previous blog post at : http://childishdelights2009.blogspot.com/